fuck. i must be extremely exhausted or delusional, cos i swear i heard e bbc olympics commentator just say 'shot fired at the hull of the ship' wtf.

urgh, incredibly long day. i can't wait for tmr to be over.

then i'll know what's my next 1 half months schedule's going to be like :p

one more round. here we go!

today was an incredibly trying tiring day.

FINALLY :D WHAT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR ((((:

KIM YU-NA OLYMPIC CHAMPION!!!!!

wheeeee. she was amazingly flawless. took my breath away (: perfection she is. grace, elegance, strength, technical ability, composure, strength and passion. fantastic performer. now i can go sleep (:



and another girl i have a really huge soft spot for. mirai nagasu (: i have my eye on her for the next olympics. hope she has a safe, injury-free four years ahead. she's going to be amazing this girl.

ROARS I HATE CHINA'S SHORT SKATING TEAM!!! hate hate hate. esp their bastardly coach. grumbles. was so agitated last night after korea got dsq from e women's short skate relay ):

kim yuna, mao asada & mirai nagasu tonight (((: i really hope korea gets gold.

hurhur, e china champion SUCKS :p nyeheheheh. another girl who can't lift her arms -.- and looks like an old maid :p annoying.

anyone seeing the 'i hate china athletes' trend? haha. actually i'm pretty okay with the china gymnasts. especially the 2008 olympics team. but the other emotionless, robotic idiots. eat shit and die -.- thanks.

i think i have too high standards sometimes. cos no matter how many times they compliment us, i always feel like either they have much lower standards or they're just saying it for the sake of saying it. shrugs.

i've distanced myself from that life. i do things simply because i want to. and half the time i'm really happy to be alone with my thoughts or with just the small handful of people i genuinely like. i don't have the time to deal with anything else anyway. shrugs.

but, i see the appeal of that life. i honestly can see myself living like that, very comfortably and relatively happily. there is the comfort of being within the same circle and environment you grow up in. and while i'm incredibly happy to have that circle, i'm not so sure about the environment really. where we are all clustered so tightly into one small area, where everyone knows everyone, everyone's dated someone, everyone knows everything or can easily find out everything about you. then everything just plunges really quickly into comparing against each other, since so many of us have taken the same paths. the pettiness, ugliness, claustrophobic feelings that come with it. and then at the end of e day, you realise that everyone's identical, and there is nothing remarkable you can say that you've done.

and life just becomes a blur of muted colours fading into each other.

and it is this life of muted colours, where there is no real distinction between a year and the next, or your colour and someone-else's colour

hurhur. the more i think about it, the more i believe in angie's more recent prediction of my love-life. HAHAHA. she probably can't figure out which one i'm talking about. she's made too many over the years. snorts.

i think i'm not going to apply to LSE for masters. i don't really have a need to do a masters now. i'm doing it for pure interest and for that opportunity. and i know exactly where i want to do my masters, so i don't really want to take something for the sake of having a masters. its nyc or nothing i suppose. if i don't get it this year, then next year or the following. who says i have to do it this year anyway. hahaha.

nationals for telders this weekend. here we go!

TEEHEE :D HELLO KAYLI JIE! hahaha. you understand the frustration and distaste right? hahaha. its so so so annoying. but kim yuna and mirai nagasu were wonderful (((:

i seriously believe i'm sitting at least a good 13, 14 hours a day. and with my new year resolution to have better posture, this means i'm sitting ram-rod straight for a good 8 or 9 hours a day 0_o this is ridiculous.

urghs, i said i like long-limbed, slim ice-skaters. but its the WORST when they're slim and have long arms, but are full of awkward angles and don't know how to hold their lines and arms. like chicken wings. as lao shi used to say :p hahaha. go learn some ballet damnit.

ooh ice-skaters are getting younger and younger -.- its ridiculous. but they're so goooood. i have an extreme soft spot for mirai nagasu (((: love good performers, its all about the hands damnit. and the passion and sincerity when you perform. she's an awesome skater, and i think she has a really good shot at gold in 4 years if she keeps going e way she is. i think it'll be e only time i hope for a US win. hahaha. (i hate rachael flatt. she looks like a old woman)

and i really really like the long, lean body-shape for ice-skaters. like kim yuna (who i'm so looking forward to), e japanese girls, mirai nagasu & e russians. they shouldn't be stout, overtly muscular or inflexible -.-

e russian girl ksenia makarova is pretty impressive too. trains under same coach as johnny weir. haha, i think she has a great future too :p

let's make a better day for you and me (:

i don't really know how to explain my choices in life, except that i just want to make a difference in whatever way i can

time is such a cruel thing

suddenly it occurred to me today, that i really don't know if i can live permanently in spore. no more seasons, no more unlimited freedom. mms. and somehow i don't know how i'm going to choose between all that i have in spore, and what i want to do with my life.

pitter patter goes the rain.

i love this time of the day, when its all quiet outside. if its raining, its a bonus. cause then i can hear the comforting sound of rain coming down. the soft occasional whir of my heater. the zooming sounds of cars passing by my window. the birds chirping.

the only time i appreciate mornings, is when i'm not forced to get up in e mornings, and i've been awake the whole night and my mind is rather pleasantly numb. haha.

oh, new entry at 'hello sunshine' -->

omg I LOVE THE KOREAN SHORT SKATERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! gold & silver for the 1000m men's short skate :D HAHAHA EAT SHIT AMERICA & CANADA! woohoooo. that so made my night :D teehee. lee jung su is my king larh. he's 21 and mind-blowingly fantastic.

china won gold for e women's 15000m -.- sian. but south korea got silver and bronze. shit the koreans are bloody good at short skate. its so thrilling and exciting to watch :D I LOVE I LOVE I LOVE!

on a rather random note, 28th feb next weekend will be the 4th year anniversary of this blog 0_o gosh, has it been 4 years since my jc days. wow.

god how time flies. 4 years ago i was watching shizuka arakawa win the olympics womens figure skating. 3 years ago my mummy gave me the necklace i'm still wearing. 3 years ago i came to london. 2 years ago i was in italy watching the euro finals. 2 years ago i was back in spore glued to the 2008 china olympics and the chinese gymnasts. 1 year ago i bought myself my ring for my 20th birthday. and its almost been 3 months since i turned 21. gosh. where has all the time gone?

i finally get what it is about patrick chan that turns me off, and makes me dislike him so greatly. its his close-set, lazy-looking, heavy-lidded eyes. urghs

mms (: daisuke takahashi is a gem. watching him skate, you just get why he's there. he just loves it. the passion & e love. he got bronze, but he is the winner in my heart (:

such a pity he fell on his quad. but he's only 24! so i really hope i'll see him triumph in 4 years time in russia. just like kohei uchimura :D

sighs, e american evan lysacek won gold. he's technically not bad, and is a good performer. but his arms are HORRENDOUS -.- go learn some ballet damnit. he has really long arms so if you don't hold them up and extend them, it basically looks like chicken wings. sian diao.

evgeni plushenko got silver ): sighs, his long skate wasn't perfect. ROARS.

i really hope kim yuna performs well next week -crosses fingers-

omg omg. everyone PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE watch e mens relay short skate finals. it is the most intricate, exciting, adrenaline-rushing, unpredictable sport EVER. i've forgotten how much i've missed this. omg, watching the south korean skaters working so well as a team switching in and out like that. it is mind-blowingly exciting. PLEASE WATCH :D even the individual events are FANTASTIC :D (e only thing i don't like is e stupid china woman dominating e 500m short skate. sians)

its really exciting to see the legends and the legends in the making :DDD tonight, the snowboard half-pipe mens. SHAUN WHITE! woots. exciting exciting :D

[edit] ohh i'm falling head over heels in love with all these charismatic men figure skaters. i've always had a soft spot for russians in all these performing sports (esp gymnastics), hence e selection below. but omg there was this 16 year old Kazakhstan boy who is like ranked 3rd right now with bloody high scores and a perfect routine with a wonderful performance flair. and then daisuke takashi who was so showy and charismatic and also a perfect routine :D AWESOME triple axle! and the swiss stephane lambiel. i love it how they're all so graceful and good performers and yet masculine at the same time. i hate those that charge around e rink like bloody ice hockey skaters [e canadian athlete -.-] [/edit]

oooh i've got a new favourite men figure skater :DDD i mean evgeni plushenko is still amazingly good and i've watched him from e last olympics. but artem borodulin, he's 20, first time on to e olympics, but my gosh his short programme just now was awesome :DDD not as good as plushenko of course, artem is still on triples. but he's only TWENTY and plushenko's like what nearing 30? so there's so much hope & future for artem :D i'm so excited to see him in e russian winter olympics in 4 years time!

YAYYY korean won e 500m women's speed skate again :D WHOOPEE!

somehow i feel that it was a blessing in disguise. i'm incredibly thankful for how fate works. and super happy tt ming was around to tell me to take e chance :p ming! my clam chowder starts next weekend :p hahaha.

mms. maelle. i like that name alot. haha. second female english name that i really like. first is leah :p mms. maelle ricker just won e womens snowboard cross. she's from vancouver, e home crowd went nuts -.- i was kinda sniggering when e american crashed out :p HEH.

yauatcha tmr!

i don't like it when people rate how capable a person is by the number of internships they've gotten or where they've gotten it at. and just because you're going to work at a 'better' company or in a 'better' country, is by no means a reflection of one person's entirety. just because some ppl don't want to be an ant, doesn't mean that they're useless as butterflies. roars. this is why i always try to stay out of it.

sometimes i'm not quite sure how to explain to team sports players what it means to only have one go at a competition, one time by yourself and that's it. you train an entire year or two just for that one. and if you crash, its gone. like that. i miss that moment when you stand on the tramp and everything just fades away. i miss competing. everytime i watch gymnastics, figure skating or one of e performing sports, i miss that feeling.

i feel like a bloody sports column but its all i've been watching. hahaha. anyway, china won gold & silver for e pairs figure skating. i'm not a big fan of e gold pair, who are married, the man looks like a typical ah beng -.- urghs. but they're technically fantastic. but i really liked the silver medalists. very very classy stuff. they blew me away with their long programme. got them up from 6th place to 2nd with that bloody perfect long programme :p and i really like e bronze pair from germany too. think e girl's from one of e post-soviet countries. she's fantastic, so good at emoting. their short programme last night was fabulous.

and in the men's 500m speed skating event, whoosh, an all asian sweep of e trophies :D korea 1st, japan 2nd & 3rd. bloody exciting stuff. nyeheheheh to e canadians :p HAHA.

usa took first in e men's snowboard cross, 2nd was canada and 3rd was france. that was super adrenaline pumping :DDDD love it! i can't wait to go snowboarding :D teehee. hope i don't break anything -.-

tmr is an exciting day. men's short programme for figure skating (johnny weir! hahaha), women's last two rounds for luge, women's 500 m speed skating, and women's snowboard cross.

for those in e uk, you can watch every event on bbc.com. i love it! more winter olympics updates tmr :D teehee. i'm off to read marxism -.- sad life

omg i love the winter olympics :D everything's so fast, thrilling, exciting, adrenaline-rushing. gosh. i'm watching the mens snowboard cross finals. OMG. so fantastic. i love it :D i can't wait to learn snowboarding. and i'm going to buy a proper snow suit so that i'll make myself continue snowboard or skiing. so fun :D the course for the snowboarding cross is beyond insane. hahaha :DDD

i love you suefaye & ziying (((: you guys totally made my day with your ADORABLE card! teehee. ai ni men shen shen!

my package arrived this morning too! a whole load of stuff 0_o including japanese goodies from my dearest 2 su su (((: he rocks my world. shiroi koibito, royce chocolate bars, corn candy and millefeuille (i think tts how you spell it :p) teehee. and of course new year goodies, JAJANGMYUN!

its so odd to get an angpow in pounds. hmms. though i'm not complaining. though my mum is still using the 1 to 3 exchange rate and i'm losing out on my annual ang pow money -.- HAHA

oh and before any misunderstandings occur. jeremy i wasn't refering to you down there :p HAHAHA. you wouldn't be my friend if you didn't insult me. and i love insulting you (((: HAHA.

urghs, cramps on new year's day ): sian. i'm all grumpy and cranky with my cup of steaming hot tea and my hot water bottle wrapped up inside my hoodie. grumpy.

i'm so appreciative of the bbc right now :p they're showing live coverages of ALL events in vancouver for british viewers :D EEKS! you'd never get this kind of coverage in spore. i'm waiting for the luge men's finals in abit, and then the pairs free skate later on. watched the 3000m speed skating womens. these speed skaters are fucking awesome larh. hahaha. but i prefer the short skates more. its more on balance, skill and technique than sheer strength. the koreans are bloody good at the short skate programmes. hahaha. ding ding. adopted country for the winter olympics, japan and korea :D ooh. the mens' mogul is some pretty awesome stuff too. bloody cool. teehee, i can't wait to go learn snowboarding in easter. -bounces bounces-

i don't think some guys understand how hurtful and damaging their words and looks can be. simple thoughtless chauvinistic lines like 'you're eating SO MUCH?!', 'wow look at her thunder thighs', 'you look pudgier' or things like that can cause so much pain and unhappiness for a girl really. i've seen how simple incidents like that have pushed so many girls into eating disorders, and sometimes i really want to slap the guys who say that. its not as though they're fucking johnny depp or even good looking, muscular, well-built or whatever. but they just think that its their prerogative to say whatever they want. being the egocentric selfish bastards that they are, they just spout whatever mindless spiteful things they want, and walk away. its a collection of all these simple things that cause so many girls to die of anorexia and bulimia every year.

so just think about it this way. would you like your girlfriend or daughter in the future to die just like that? if you don't want it, then just shut it. seriously.

omg i love love love olympics. summer, winter whatever :D i adore them to death. all the sports to watch day and night :DDD eeks i'm so excited. i could stay at home everyday just following the games. i'm especially excited for figure skating of course, kim yu na! she's fantastic. and then there's ski jumping, speed skating and luge!!! so sad about the georgian athlete, same age and all ): but i suppose even though he didn't get to actually compete and he was so young when he died, i suppose the best way to go is doing what you love right? rip.

in addition, i'm totally enamored with the winter olympics' mascots :D they're adorable. i'm asking my aunt who lives in canada to get me the whole set. teehee.

miga the sea-bear!


mukmuk the marmot!

and quatchi the sasquatch!

there's sumi too :p but he ain't cute. hahaha.

anyway, fried bee hoon ended up as fried tang hoon but it was GOOD :D everyone finished it (((: nothing makes a cook happier than having your food finished and ppl enjoying it. hahaha. won at blackjack. 200% :DDD hahaha. all in all, it was a pretty awesome night (: i'll miss them when i graduate ):

happy cny!

i feel so sorry.

sorry that i can't be there. sorry that she has to do all of it and be so tired. sorry that i can't help relieve that burden. sorry that i'm actually even adding on to her burden. sorry that i can't look after them. sorry that i'm still so willful and insistent on doing exactly what i want for the next two years at least. sorry i can't help her cook and pray. sorry i can't spend time with them everyday and see them smile and laugh. sorry that they both feel that they're living with a ticking time bomb inside of them, and even though they want to spend time with me, i'm not there.

and despite all those sorrys, they still love me the most.

sometimes i just feel so overwhelmed with apologies. its not helping that its chinese new year and i wish i was by by their sides.

so for this new chinese year, all i want to be is thankful and appreciative of what i had, and what i still have.

tmr looks to be a busy hectic day.

oh i made kimchi pancakes to night :D and they were GOOOOD :D haha. yummy yummy treat.



happy chinese new year my friends (: may your year ahead be filled with e best luck and fortune!

I don't know 你去那裡
雖然不曾懷疑你 還是忐忑不定
誰是你的那個唯一

its hard not to expect anything. i'd have thought that with all e years of disappointment i could deal with this. but you can be so callous sometimes.

azusa


cherie & arthur


JAJANGMYUN!!! (it looks nasty i know, but its so so so good (: )

fuck its FREEZING damnit. i've got my heater on full blast, socks on and fluffy slippers on. this is ridiculous. and i normally HATE wearing socks. i hate having my feet hot. but its so cold that i feel like my toes are going to fall off and everytime i curl my feet under me to warm them up, i feel like i'm putting ice packs underneath my arse -.- this is not funny.

woke up to e buzzer today thinking it was my package. well it was my package, but rather it was e one from yesstyle :p haha. my fedex package is stuck in newark cos of weather issues -.- brilliant. so earliest i'll get it is on monday? i hope my kueh lapis doesn't rot. snorts. i hope angela & kaylene get in safely with e snow over there.

so at e very least i've got more new clothes for cny. and i still have a small stash of ba kua :p hahaha. MY JAJANGMYUNNNNNNNNN!

omg alexander mcqueen committed suicide 0_o

omgomgomgomgomg

i love our movie dates (: though nine was rather unremarkable for the cast they have. marion cotillard was the sole saving grace of the show. she is my modern audrey hepburn. her classiness, elegance and carriage is breathtaking. and damn she can sing. and in a cast of old-women-trying-to-look-like-they-never-left-their-20s and overtly-fat-women-who-have-flesh-spilling-out-everywhere-in-their-bid-to-look-sexy, her demureness and class even when dancing in her underwear is a breath of much needed fresh air.

unless you're a guy and you want to see penelope cruz's almost bare ass and boobs -.- or if you love marion cotillard like i do (there are few shows better than love me if you dare), don't watch. it was way too long. fergie was way too fat and skanky. kate hudson too bright, annoying and redundant. nicole kidman wooden and barely there for a 'lead actress'. sophia loren who's face never seemed to move. penelope cruz who was WAY too sexual for my liking (and stupid). though i must say judi dench was (y) haha. ogay, its 7am. looks like my fedex deliveryman is going to be ringing e bell before i can even close my eyes -.-

hello sleep. here i come.

new post on hello sunshine -->

eeks. a 25 kg box is on its way and due to arrive on thurs from spore. carrying all e love from my mummy, daddy and yet :D teehee. i asked for a few things, like kueh bolu, loveletters and INSTANT JAJANGMYUN (WOOTS!). and then suddenly it became a 25 kg box 0_o hahaha. all i know is that there are freshly baked pineapple tarts my mummy and aunties baked for me (my daddy whispered it as a secret -.- i'm supposed to act all surprised and touched when i open my box. HAHA). and i think my dad added in new year goodies for angela too. haha.

sighs, its a massive new year for my family this year. everyone's back in spore. like EVERYONE from canada, australia, hongkong and wherever my uncle is -.- i wish i had thought of going back for cny during reading week. but ah wells, there's too much work to do ): i'm spending cny doing work and prepping for telders. sians.

well at least i have some lovely plans tt i'm looking forward to :D

- korean lunch with joyce & kenneth tmr. i haven't seen joyce in FOREVER -.- i miss you! (and i'm craving soondubu jigae too. hahaha. kenneth wants pork bbq. we had this whole discussion about korean pancakes e other day)
- shopping for cny clothes with hongmin after that
- movie night with charmaine, tsuki & fabian at night. NINE!!! and taiwanese dinner :D
- cny dinner on saturday night
- probably dim sum or smthing on sunday?
- lunch with hongmin at yauatcha next weds
- date with kaylene & angela when they get back from nyc (hopefully with magnolia cupcakes for me! eeks)
- lunch date with sonya next sat at our next gourmet destination - modern french in covent garden (:

looks to be a packed, exciting two weeks ahead! ding ding :DDD

i walked home in the snow today. with white flurries swirling all around me. sticking to my eyelashes, to my coat, to my scarf. my nose was freezing and red. my fingers were going to fall off. but somehow with my headphones plugged in, walking down the snowy street at night, made me feel more alive than ever, and so happy (: hahaha. maybe cos i was carrying a box of cream puffs home :p

all i can do now is cross my fingers and hope and wait and hope and wait. somehow my gut feeling has never been wrong. and when i've set my sights on something, and wish for it to happen hard enough, it somehow, one way or another does. and i really really hope this is what happens again this time. i'd be crushed if it didn't ):

i'm a believer in hard work. massive believer. i believe there's nothing you can't do if you work hard at it and you're determined to succeed.

which is why those who seek shortcuts and easy way-outs and are free-riders, just leaves me with a feeling of disdain really. shrugs. its up to you to live your life. doesn't mean i have to like it.

i suppose part of this comes from my self-reliance. i don't like to rely on others unnecessarily and i always feel bad when i do. cass gets what i mean.

gower and davies can seriously fuck off. omg. it has to be e most convoluted, fucked-up, messed-up textbook i've ever read. and then kershaw summarises 100 pages of gower & davies nicely into a well-argued, put-together 50 pages. and e dept offers g&d as e main reading. oh kill me already. today is the last day i'm touching gower & davies EVER!

ROARS

i love love love korean variety shows :D LOVE UNTIL CAN DIE!

i don't like people who are dismissive of others. just because other ppl are not governed by the same urges, desires or interests as you, doesn't make them any less of a person than you are. even if you don't give a fuck about what the hell they do, you have no right to just brush the topic or issue aside.

prick

the way its going, i think i'm going to end up an entrepreneur. grumbles. e spore law industry is getting overwhelmingly intolerable before i even join it -.- lovely.

RACHEL TAN IF YOU SEE THIS, REPLY MY EMAIL :p ARE YOU COMING TO LONDON?!?!?! you will so make my cny if you do (((:

gahh, its getting really difficult to keep to my diet with cny coming up and so many lunch and dinner appointments. its times like these that i really miss the dancers. hahaha. diet coke :D

it doesn't help that everytime i watch a korean show (which is everyday) i crave soondubu jigae, kimchi jigae, bibimbap, jap chae, korean friend chicken (omg those back in spore, i'm so jealous cos you can get bonchon anyday ): ) and jajangmyun. i satisfied my jajangmyun craving yesterday but its back with full force today ))): SO BAD!

perfectly lonely. perfectly fine being alone.

i can't quite figure out what john mayer is trying to get at :p but its just too upbeat a song to be emo really. hahaha. i think its perfect for this very moment (:

gods sleep is my best friend and my worst nightmare. once i fall asleep, i can't seem to wake up -.- grumbles.

i'm craving cupcakes like madddd. hummingbird bakery ones ): good news is its now at soho. bad news is i'm on a diet -.- plus i'm having dinner out tonight with my telders team (korean. jja jjang men here i come!) so i can't be sinful and eat cupcakes and korean in one day ): but at least i've made plans with angela for next weds to go grab one. HAHA. what kind of a diet right :p snorts.

new post up on 'hello sunshine' --> go see (:

this is fucking ridiculous. i have 155 tb pages and 100 pages of articles/reports to read for ONE TOPIC. and its a subject i'm not even banking on to do that well in. WTF. oh god i should have never done BA. i want to kill myself already -.- ARGH.

i think i'm spending WAY too much time in front of my laptop -.- my number of blog posts a day is getting ridiculous. sheesh.

somewhere in my heart, i'm always dancing with you in summer rain

mms. i wonder how anthony will take to mambo. HAHA. i think he'd probably be horrified :p

patsy cline. reminds me of my car-rides with daddy when i was young. i can sing every single song on all his records. i have no idea what e song titles are, neither can i sing them out randomly. but when e song plays, i know e lyrics and i know e song that comes after. hahaha. this is one of my mummy's favourite song too actually.

i'm an old soul at heart

sighs what happened to all my cute boys. they've all deteriorated greatly as the years passed by ):

is to so hard to believe that people can do things because they are genuinely interested in it? and the simple act of doing it brings them great satisfaction and happiness, regardless of the time and effort it requires? bloody hell, not everyone does things just to boost their cv or get a job okay -.-

whoosh (: glory glory man utd! teehee.

i'm so looking forward to the world cup in summer! i'll hopefully be watching it from greece, eastern europe and italy :D oh the atmosphere in italy's awesome!

thinking about watching e euro in italy in summer, does make me miss what's no longer there.